You should be fine as long as you stick to the lines you have laid out. At best they just try to include you in the community, and at worst you are constantly told that you'll be welcome "when you're ready.
I don't want to give up as I think it is still the stress of the exams that is motivating her response and that given time, we could work things out and have a very special and loving relationship.
I have to say that reading this is exactly what I needed today.
I wish I know things better and would have taken a different path in life.